(couldtcarelessdosntmeanidont)

She seems to be aimless.
Looking around at everything like she was born walking. Beautiful slight and coy. She notices me noticing her and smile's. I tilt sunglasses and smile back outfitted in a slick black jacket. She keeps walking like the previous moment never happened. Maybe shes just playing hard to get. I wonder where shes going. I want to go there too. Find a warm bed settle down into and learn how to love. From the bottom up, instead of just going down. Looking awkward like an airplane crash with out the nesesary tragedy. A spelling mistake that everyone can see.
Oh my how fucking embarrasing. Breaking down that boundry bettween thought and speech. The one that seems to cripple me. I know you know it too cause it's crippled you on one occasion or two. Its the same one that has left me standing in the middle of the street not knowing what to say with no idea what to do.
She looks Russian maybe, european anyway.
I turn my head hoping she will look back and flash me a sexy smile. What more could a boy want? That actress dream. Someone to go about figuring out. Some thing pretty to persue. I miss that companionship that I felt once. I only get it once and awhile and these days and it never seems to stay. Phone's are complicated and they should come with a warning. Pick me up at your own risk. Cause every time I try to place a call there's someone screaming at me on the other end. Is it my fault that I come and go like a whisper? Cause it never seemed to bother me. Eternally restless just out to appreciate this beauty. The kind that lives in humble words but somehow again I stumble over what I meant to say. Language is so curious. So make or break. She usually sleeps with me anyways. We both know this is going nowhere but we make the attempt just to learn. At least thats the way I look at it. Maybe she is different, maybe not. She caught me off gaurd and now horn's are honking and she's long gone. I could go after her but something tell's me I'll see her again. Maybe then I'll have something other then a smile to share. Either way it's not that I don't care it's just the game that I don't try to play. The one that keep's me in the mood to create. Curious and prodding at this life's little quirks and curves.
Insecurity.
I seem to constantly be existing in that space that lover's exist in the first time they decide to go and fuck someone. I'm falling over myself with a bloody nose and leaning on her hair. The key that is, to existing here. Well its just to learn to laugh when you are told your supposed to care. Nobody thinks I'm serious and that's ok with me. Cause when serious goes and hangs itself I 'll be the only on in the room not crying out bloody murder then feeling stupid for saying that it was the end of the world. I'm good with this, here I am standing naked and proud with a quart of tequila in me singing songs with word that I don't remember.
Telling obviously tall tales.
Besides it was always he melody that mattered anyways.

The words in these old blues standards, well they always seem to change.