(awelcomematfornoah)

This is perfect, this is why I seem to function best at night. It feels safe here in the dark, basking in the purple glow of the light that hung around late smoking and conversing. The subtle shine that the day left trapped. Locked up under cloud cover it hisses with the wind trying to escape back to where it belongs. The wet ashphalt glows in sepia tone. This province is sleeping and I am all alone. Loving every second of solitude. Curled up in the cool october air. Watching the weather as it changes with the day. A journal made up of wires, copper and silicon. I like to leave my skeletons out here, its not like my closet is full. I figure they could just use a little air. I've been brain storming a story lately. One about loss and beauty and the things that pull on heart strings. My cheeks are flushed and I am tired. I feel all out of ideas, like mine just aren't pretty enough. All worn out from thinking about the things in life that really mean somthing. Not the vain world ending fantasy that has occupied my dreams form day to day this week. It all seems unreal after the events of an otherwise innocuous monday. Overshadowed by a sense of euphoria and joy. Today a couple of good friends of mine started a family. I am mighty proud of them and they will be fantastic parents. Standing in the white sterile halls of the hospital made me ache. It seems everwhere I look there is a reminder of the cycles that run like a hidden application in the desktop background of existance. It made me wish that I could start a family. That I was with someone that made me that happy. I'm sure that one day it will come. That strength I see when I look at them. The strange uncanny feeling of creation. The divine grace that comes with being a parent. I can only guess at the weight of such responsibility. I want to find a way to capture the feeling I felt today watching two people so in love bring something so incredible and beautiful into this frightening and mangled world. I felt like an outsider in many of ways in that hospital room but I do really, truly appreciate how hard these two and a half souls have worked at making me feel so welcome. I am honored to think that someone asked me today how it felt to be and uncle. Even if its only honorary. I want to be blessed with the same sacred journey someday. The beauty in life seems to just floor and amaze me everytime that I think hope has disapeared. It leaves me mute sitting out in the cold tapping on a keyboard. It leaves me feeling short on time and pressed for action. I am 26 going on 27 and these two seem to have it all figured out. Such courage and tenacity and all I can do is stand in awe and respect it. Put my nose to the grind stone ad go to work at making my life a better one to live.
Good luck and god speed and welcome to existance, welcome to this crazy strange place.
Hope abounds after all it would seem.
Hello Noah, be blessed and live a wonderful life.